Ned and Alan are adult twins. Ned has NLD and Alan has Asperger's. In some ways, they could be the same person, but in other ways, it's obvious how different NLD and AS really are. A prime example is their pantry. Ned has a poor visual memory, so he can never remember except in the most general sense where things go. If stuff gets back on the shelf after he's done cooking, even if it isn't particularly neat, he's happy. Alan, on the other hand, is an arranger. His particular obsession is the pantry. Ned's constant failure to put stuff away where it belongs drives Alan crazy. He has a fit when Ned puts the groceries away. At least once a week, Alan goes through the pantry and puts everything in its spot, perfectly aligned. Even when the rest of the house is a disaster, the pantry is as tidy as a display case.
Ned has to force himself to put something in the same spot every day so Alan can find it. Alan has unvarying places where stuff must go, and he remembers, like a photograph is in his head, the exact location, sequence and alignment of many of his personal items. He's very rigid about it all. Alan's shoes are always in exactly the same spot under the coffee table, every day. They drive Ned crazy, but if Ned moves them, Alan just puts them back. Alan remembers the exact location of a number of objects and likes them in a certain spot. Ned has learned not to move them, even if he doesn't like where they are—enough times getting growled at for "spiriting away" Alan's stuff. Ned can't even remember where he left his keys half the time, and he wouldn't notice if someone moved them, but Alan carries a visual picture so accurate, Ned would believe Alan's accounting if it disputed an actual photo.
Their sense of direction is another big difference. Alan has one, a great one. He loves to look at maps, and it took him two days to learn his way around town. Ned hates to look at maps, and he still can't figure out where he is half the time. Alan can't figure out how on earth Ned could not have a sense of direction. He lacks the ability to take the perspective of another person and understand that what is in his brain isn't automatically in Ned's brain. Ned, on the other hand, can understand that his thoughts are different from Alan's and knows to put things away or to accept that their directional skills are indeed different, but Alan can't do the same.
Their reading habits are totally different, though they both like science fiction. One of Alan's big obsessions is Star Wars. He can repeat all the dialog from every movie word for word! He must read all the Star Wars books, whether he likes them or not. Alan will grumble the whole time, but he always finishes the book. But if Ned doesn't like a book, he usually ends up reading about thirty pages of it and putting it aside. Alan has a terrible time remembering the names of the books he just read, but he can quote some passages verbatim months later!
As different as they can be, and as crazy as they can make each other, their living arrangement has worked out. They're even still best friends. Because neither of them uses or understands nonverbal codes, communication between them is open, honest, and straightforward, which they consider a real treat! They each come with their own suite of slightly odd, obsessive rituals, and neither of them is bothered by it. Alan puts up with Ned's nonstop talking, and Ned has learned to endure Alan's obsession with Garfield and to stay out of Alan's way on Saturday mornings because he's cranky from the lack of the weekdays' predictable routine.
Note: Story based on conversation with NLD adult
The Differences Between NLD and Asperger's: An Anecdote
By Rondalyn V. Whitney, MOT, OTR/L
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